Charlie

This is Charlie.

He is one of the many new kids. Charlie is quiet, so quiet in fact that for the first couple of shifts we could do nothing but look at each other awkwardly as to say "does this kid even speak English?"

It turns out he does speak English, he just chooses not to participate. He's not a dishournable yet, though Patrick is advancing.

When he's not too busy developing Bio Weapons at UWE he works on the cloakroom, which is rather fitting for someone that shares his personality and style with every character from The Breakfast club. (minus that homo jock kid)

We all thought Charlie was the nice quiet polite kid, the one who doesn't think or say ill about others...FYI This is not true.

A small account written by Charlie, discovered and distributed by me.

Log of weird/annoying people

It is midnight and I have discovered that drunk people do as they're told. Write "tips" on a cup and they tip. What else can i make them do?

00.10

Let's start easy, Vaguely drunk girl approaches, Can I make her sing in exchange for getting something from her coat?

She attempts to sing "twinkle twinkle little star" accompanied by the dance moves from Thriller whilst simultaneously drinking her drink (it's almost certainly lemonade and Archers)

She spills the majority down her pasty tits. She tips me.

00.30

Customers are increasinly drunk. 6/10 insists on kissing me on each cheek when i take her coat. Would I find her attractive I was drunk too?

P.s Also, it's staggering how it only seems to be the slags who are having their birthday today

P.p.s One asks me for a Jagerbomb...Really?

00.40

"Charlie! I know you!"

"Really? where from?"

"You took my coat an hour ago silly! I can't believe your forgot my name!"

Skank then steals my pen and defiles my nights work. She wins in that I won't now forget her. Darn.

01.15

Ugly woman and ugly gay man demand to know my sexuality in order to know which one gets me. Needless to say, neither do but I become awkward and adopt the demeanor of a shy school child.