So, as you may know, I haven't had the intwatnet in quite a while, which means I must recap on all the mediocre events and scandals that have impregnated my life since then.
Where the hell does one begin?
Hmm,
Ok, Pete's party, It was a saturday a while ago. Guests had strict instructions to dress like Pete, in other words -a complete twat, though Pete relished under the religion of "imitation is the best form of flattery"
This dude totally won the unofficial , unkown, secret competition of best dressed.
At one point, there was a invasion of Vegan Police, which is a standard occurrence within the area that Pete's accommodation is located. They didn't do much apart from sitting against the wall, smelling and dogging me up. What Evs.
Jess was there, so was Ben. At one point I tried to hook them up. The best thing about hooking friends up with other friends is you finally get an accurate account of how they rate in the sack without sleeping with them yourself. If the results prove positive, you can continue to pimp them out in the style of one of my fictional idols, Mrs Cole. If the results come back negative.. you just pray they get better. I thought it would be easy, I mean, Jess is a girl and she likes boys , Ben is a boy and he likes girl's, match made in Heaven right? Aparently not. Losers.
I shared a brief but substantial man kiss with Ben, which resulted in a cold sore, the first one I've ever gotten, I felt so year 8.
This differs from Jess for she shared a brief but substantial and ever so slightly public sexual placement with Pete. A union that Katie and I both bore witness to. I saw knickers, katie saw,heard and smelt everything else.
Calum's rendition of Pete disturbed me slightly, for he looked good dressed as Pete, and that wasn't the point.
There's no place like home, There's no place like home, There's no place like home.
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