A post

Tom came to visit me recently, he made up some random lie about picking a mate up from the airport to diguise the fact he missed me and/or was meeting some random off the internet.  I love tom, not for any of his dishernable qualities you must understand but for the single significant fact that he is perhaps the only person in Bristol that hasn't closed the book on the page I was on.

But yeah, we hard larks. He slept on my camp bed and wrapped up in a quilt inwhich he resemebled a maggot epecially with his small black head sticking out the end.

He now works in my Mother's gay sauna.

Mother says the customers love him. 

Bless.

And as for Tinder, I gave up on Tinder because its virtually impossible to play hard to get.. which is irrelveant to me of course but I would still like the option.

I did however find Harry on Tinder. Harry is a drop out student freak who happens to make great cakes.  He was- for a day or two-my tintern. It's basically a intern you download off tinder.

so anyway, for my efforts and dedication during my one night in venice, we were invited- in the form of a plus 1 of course) to the king cross generator hostel which is roughly ten times the size of the Venice one but unmeasurably worse. The decor and fittings looked like they belonged inside what one can only imagine the inside of  Plymouth's urban outiftters (I apologise Ranicar if you had any involvement in this)
You see, though there was free Gin and the music was ..amber, it was one of those places  that is full of people you know but don't want to talk to. Similiar to that feeling when ever you spot jodie harsh or Daniel Lismore.

Pat and I are BFFs once again- the natural balance of life itself has been restored. 

We often meet in the kebab shop at the end of my road for some weird reason. 

Having a friend that eats this kind of cruisine is really refreshing as virtually every single person I know in London is either vegan, Orthorexic or ...just doesn't eat. Pat as always, isn't up to date  with the current fashions therefore his food tastes reflect that of a welsh morrisions checkout girl after a long night out,eating her feelings because she didn't get fingered. 

#lad #colesterol

O btw, I must  apologise for my life has reached new levels of pov. The battery on my 2007 vintage mac book died about 3 years ago and only worked if the lead was forever plugged in. That lead has now broke resulting in no laptop which has caused great issues in my life. Not only are my posts always referencing my life two months prior but it also means I've gone from watching Eastenders on a 16 inch to a 4 inch  screen. 

My plan is to get a job as, According to a girl in the Regent Street apple store, you can't get a mac and iPad on finance without one. Fail. People suggest I should not bother getting a mac but as I told them, not only would I get laughed out of Starbucks, the fact remains, the only thing worse than having a broken mac is not having a mac at all. 

In social news, Cecilia (who has recently developed a red stripe addiction) has organised some voodoo ritual sacrifice party to celebrate the full moon on Friday the 13th. She assures me it's a big deal as a full moon won't occur on Friday the 13th in another 50 years or something. Sounds like a perfect reason to have a party. #londonlife 

To continued...